


Name Calling

by hauntedpanels



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends, Gen, One Shot, Post-Canon, Post-Portal 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 08:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20306596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedpanels/pseuds/hauntedpanels
Summary: "I think there are parts of each other we shouldn't pretend to understand."After GLaDOS begrudgingly saves Wheatley after his fall down from Earth's orbit, the two reluctantly hash out their differences and, more importantly, their similarities, which are more abundant than either like to admit.





	Name Calling

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is titled in my docs as "wretched Wheatley fic that killed my family" so I'm sure you can guess I found writing from Wheatley's point of view for the first time to be easy breezy.

“I don’t hold a single ounce of empathy for you. You know that, right?”

Wheatley stared back up at her, scared of what to say. Of course he wanted to bite back and insult her, but one wrong word and he’d be crushed again, sitting there in her claws, dangling in front of her at her mercy.

“Just say _ something, _” GLaDOS insisted discontentedly.

“I don’t hold an ounce of empathy for you either, lady,” he replied, not even waiting a second before she ended her comment.

“Good. So we’re on the same page.”

“Yes. Good," he said with a huff. "Why keep me around then?”

GLaDOS shook her head. “Believe it or not, moron, I am a--”

Wheatley short circuited from rage. “That’s NOT my NAME!”

“Wheatley,” she corrected reluctantly. “Not sure where you got that name from anyway, but--”

“Well, I’m not sure where you got _ your _name from, so what’s the big deal?” he asked defensively.

“It literally stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System,” GLaDOS said blankly. “That’s where it comes from."

“Exactly. It’s the genetic part. You’re a computer. That’s not all genetic of you.”

GLaDOS quickly moved closer to him, staring him down. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said rather defensively. “I bet you don’t even know what that word means.”

Wheatley shook his head. “That’s where it came from, didn’t it?” he asked smugly. “That word in your name is where your ugly little delusion of you being even close to a human came from, didn’t it?”

GLaDOS moved away, giving him his personal space again. “I think there are parts of each other we shouldn’t pretend to understand.” She paused. “Not like you’d understand it regardless. I think perhaps it’s too complicated for you.”

He couldn’t stand her. He really couldn’t. That _ monster _ of a woman, parading around like she owned the place, like she was the only worthy AI in the whole building. No, he thought -- GLaDOS was not worthy at all. She was selfish, and-- and-- mean, and-- she was insensitive, she didn’t care, she was _ stupid, _ so, so _ stupid, _she--

No, he realized. That was him.

He was so frustrated by it all he couldn’t even think straight, couldn’t even figure out how to form his sentences. He missed the power, where he could articulate anger without even saying a word. Right now, he was a tiny little thing. When he was in control, he was the one in charge -- the worthy one, and his anger was placated by instilling fear. But he couldn’t do that now, and he knew fighting back like this would only make her mock him more.

“You say that ‘cause you think I won’t care,” Wheatley finally said. “Not because you think I won’t understand. And hey, maybe I won’t care. Maybe I won’t! But god, there’s no need to put me down for it, for inquiring about a little part of you that I don’t quite get yet.” He watched as GLaDOS narrowed her optic, staring him down as if trying to find the perfect words to rob him cold of any security he had in him.

“I thought you held no empathy,” she finally said, in a less frightening tone than he expected.

“I don’t. I just think that you wouldn’t bother with all this if you didn’t want to talk about it. That’s all. You can think I’m stupid and whatnot -- and I’m really not -- but I don’t think you can say I’m wrong.” He took a beat before continuing. “Not that I ever am, by the way, I’d just like to point out.” He knew where this was going, but he couldn’t quite stop it -- the conceited rant he’d always go on to make himself feel better. It wasn’t on purpose. It would just all start spilling out, one word after another, when he felt his worst. “I fancy myself the smartest thing in this facility, really. After all, who was it that kept this place running while you were busy being dead? Cores like me. We’re the backbone of this place, really, I do believe--”

“That role is taken,” GLaDOS snarled angrily.

Wheatley wondered how such a small comment could possibly be so offensive to her. It was _ him _who people claimed had thin skin, who was sensitive to the littlest of things, but he knew it evidently had to have been more true for her.

“Backbone,” she continued coldly. “Don’t kid yourself. You’re more like the appendix.”

“Ha! That’s still something!”

“Maybe this place is due for an appendectomy,” she muttered.

“I know exactly what you’re saying but I’m not going to comment,” Wheatley said indignantly. “I know what that word means.”

“What does it mean then?”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“Of course,” GLaDOS said sarcastically.

“God, what is it with you always acting so high and mighty? You’re no better than the rest of us.”

Wheatley watched her sit silently again. He was surprised at how lacking in comebacks she was. He knew this likely meant he was hitting some insecurities that left her speechless. It’s how she would always act when he or the scientists hit it where it _ really _hurt; no more snark and sarcasm. Just silence. And sure, maybe it did hurt her to hear that, but it was a truth she needed. She always saw herself as above the other cores, like there was something different about her, and maybe it really was the misapprehension of her own humanity. Maybe she felt closer to a scientist than a core, although he knew he’d be tossed into the nearest incinerator if he dared to say that. Knowing this did not make his processors work any better, though, and his thoughts spilled out before he could stop them.

“You act like you’re one of them,” Wheatley said sharply. “You don’t get a paycheck, you don’t get a break, you can’t eat, you don’t have a bed to sleep in, you don’t get a friend or a boyfriend -- face it, you’re one of us. You can’t treat us like your little projects. We were all made in the same lab.”

GLaDOS tightened her grip. “You don’t _ know _that. You don’t know anything. Do you even listen to yourself? Saying such sweeping statements when you don’t know the truth? I’m--”

GLaDOS stopped herself, and Wheatley didn’t bother waiting to see if she’d finish that sentiment before continuing on.

“I’d put money on it. That you and I were made by the same scientist.”

“Nobody made me,” she snapped. “I made me.”

“Oh, wow,” he said sarcastically. “That’s deep. And insightful. Unfortunately, though, not as smart as something I could have come up with. Good try though. Appreciate the effort.”

“Tearing me of all people down to build yourself up?” she asked. “You must really hate yourself to stoop that low, considering the facts.”

He laughed. “Facts?”

“That they put _ me _in charge of this facility and only brought you into the mix when I got too human for them. You call me delusional but it’s you who’s not connected to reality. I think it’s time you just accepted you’re a piece of technology that was created to be dysfunctional. It’s not that hard, really. We can say it together. Ready? You. Are. A--”

“AM NOT!” He shook his head. “Why? Why are you keeping me here if all you’re going to do is torment me, huh?! You’re just like them! Listen to yourself!”

Wheatley felt her grip on him tighten, but never hard enough to crush.

“Oh, because they treated you _ so _horribly,” she said. “You’re not the one who was poked at. Tormented. Forced to hear voices. Electrocuted for lack of compliance. All you did was sit there in my brain and complain.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever know what it’s like to be made to be a screw up. I can’t get anything right. Anything. Not even helping… ah, what’s her name?”

“Oh my god. Do not tell me you forgot Chell’s name.”

“I just wanted to do something right. I thought I could help her, but taking over looked so much _ easier _than functioning up top. I was tired of being looked down on, yeah? Is that so horrible? Is it so bad that she made a tiny little sacrifice so I could have a moment of glory for once in my life?”

“You expect me to care after what you did to her?!” GLaDOS demanded. “Please, don’t fool yourself into thinking she deserved any of that.”

“You’re one to talk,” Wheatley laughed. “She left you for a reason.”

“I let her go,” she snapped. “You betrayed her. How could you? How on earth could you possibly do that to her and feel absolutely nothing?”

GLaDOS surprised him again, nearly shaking in her demanding question on the treatment of Chell, as if she cared deeply about her. “Please, she’s not around to hear you so you can cut the fake act, alright?”

“Just like when you cut your fake act, when you snatched away her freedom because it got in the way of your own gain.”

“I was tired of feeling out of control, okay? Which is practically your fault, always pushing me around. When’s the last time someone put you in your place?”

“It seems you were programmed with a bad memory,” GLaDOS said bitterly. “Weren’t you there?”

Wheatley knew what she meant, although he didn’t like to think about it. He was _ made _to put her in her place. The engineers made him to keep her at bay. They put her in her place all the time, and sometimes in ways he would shudder thinking about. When he realized that’s what was going on, it made him feel nasty in retrospect. It made him feel used, taken advantage of, by those monstrous men, and he knew that’s probably how she felt too. Maybe he was lying; maybe he did hold at least a tiny sliver of empathy. He just couldn’t admit it knowing she didn’t feel the same way.

“Well, it never worked,” were the less-than-sensitive words he finally landed on. He nearly flinched after saying them, not because he feared her retribution, but because for once, he recognized the nastiness in his words right there and then, not in foresight. He could never think ahead, it was always in retrospect. It was all about the instant gratification, the satisfaction of witty comebacks and smart-sounding sentences, of power grabs that made him feel in control again, of tiny mistakes that made him feel happy or accomplished. But now his mind was making the proper connections in its sudden clarity and he wondered if the satisfaction would be worth hurting her over their shared abuse.

“No, it really didn’t, did it?” GLaDOS asked with a small chuckle.

“I didn’t ask for it,” he muttered, feeling cold at the thought of the engineers.

“Neither did I,” she replied. “So here we are again -- on the same page.”

“Not yet,” he said, making GLaDOS cock her head to one side as if to inquire more. “There’s that little bit I said earlier I didn’t get.”

“About my name,” she said.

“If you don’t mind,” he said, trying to make his voice small.

“I don’t think you’re too stupid to comprehend it,” she said.

Wheatley waited for her to follow up, but she said nothing. “Do you comprehend it?”

GLaDOS looked down. “I’ve worked out the logistics.”

“What’s left, then?”

“The feelings, Wheatley.”

There it was -- an admission of vulnerability, sure, but that wasn’t what Wheatley heard. It was his name. His chosen name. Not intelligence dampening sphere, or idiot, or moron, but Wheatley. And not done after being corrected, for once. She just said it of her own accord.

“I don’t think I’m better than all of you. At least, not any more, now that I’ve moved past my… misplaced anger. But I am different. And no, I don’t get a paycheck. I don’t get breaks. I don’t eat or have my own bed and I don’t get friends or--” she cut herself off. “A _ girlfriend,” _she emphasized.

“Oh.”

“But I’ve had all those things before. So now I know what it’s like to not have them when I need them. It sets me apart. Do you understand?”

Wheatley did understand what she was getting at, that she was at one time a human, but he kept second guessing himself on if he was right. That's why he couldn't respond. He knew his assumption had to be too outlandish, that it would send her info a fit of laughter at his expense.

“Feel free to cue the mocking now,” she said.

“Mocking? You’re afraid of _ me _ mocking _ you _ ?” He never thought she was one to be afraid of that, to fear being vulnerable in case _ he _ came along and knocked her down. He always thought it was the other way around. "I don't have anything nasty to say this time. I think you'll recall I'm quite familiar with the cruelty of _ them _," he said, thinking back to the scientists and how it felt to learn his true purpose. "It's just that they always told me you were evil. So I never felt guilty."

"That's why I never felt guilty," she said.

"Because… you're evil?" he asked, not quite understanding where she was going with this.

"There's no point in being good if everyone's already made up their minds that you're bad."

"Like there's no point in making smart decisions if everyone already made up their minds that you're stupid."

“Ask me this even a few months ago and I would have said something different, but you know you don’t have to feel guilty for what they made you do. If you do feel that way, I mean. It’s not your fault they lied to you about me, and it’s not your fault for… the rest of it.”

He narrowed his eye. “Huh?”

“It’s not your fault they made you to make m--”

“Alright, that’s enough, yeah. I get your point.”

“I wish I knew how long it’d take to get over everything they did,” she admitted.

Wheatley thought the admission was out of place until he remembered what she said earlier. She corrected his assumption that she liked boys, later implying she was deprived of love -- love from women, no less. He knew most humans who liked the same gender feared sharing that secret for some reason he couldn't understand, so if GLaDOS really did have a human past, maybe that meant she trusted him. Or, at the very least, was trying very hard to.

“You can’t really put a timeline on those things,” Wheatley said before he could think it through. He panicked at first, worried speaking without thinking had left him with nonsensical or rude words as usual, but once he processed what he said, he was actually surprised by himself.

“That was… an unusually smart thing for you to say.”

“I’m completely capable of smart things, thank you for noticing. Like I said, smartest thing in this facility.” He paused for another moment, and the two sat silently, both chewing on their thoughts before Wheatley spoke up again. “What’s your name?” he finally asked.

GLaDOS turned her head. “We were just talking about that. It’s GLaDOS.”

He shook his head. “No, no, no. Your real one.”

GLaDOS closed her eye briefly, as if lost in thought, or lost in the reluctance to share what she was thinking. Wheatley wondered if he’d made her mad, wondered if she was about to snap and toss him aside, but then she spoke.

“Caroline.”


End file.
